Rainy Day Rambling

I'm not sure what the impetus for this train of thought was but here's a little piece of what's been going through my head today: 

I was reading a little game of thrones earlier today (for you, Ben) and talked with Connor at lunch.  read a section where Arya is in .. Something like a death temple. Part of her being there involves letting go of her former life. When asked, who are you? Their answer is, I am no one. These people in the temple are able to change faces and assume different identities.

At lunch, Connor was struggling with the dissonance of wanting to be fully present in the experience here while wanting to contact his brother and best friend back home. 

These things got me thinking. 

There is a romanticized notion of traveling/solo travel that involves relinquishing ones former self and becoming a vessel to be filled with the souls of new experiences. Part of me is drawn to this ideal. Talking with family & friends from home will serve to draw me back and out of the of this new world. 

I say new world, because it has been like trying to figure out life on a new planet. I've always thought of myself as culturally literate/aware/tolerant/etc. but this past few soda us has been a world apart from my experience. Everything from the way we eat, to the social cues is alien. The remnants of the caste system inform many daily interactions and is anathematic to cultural values I've been taught. The amount of silence in the social world is huge, but punctuated by seemly-random bursts of singing, dancing, and physical contact. Life here is vastly more different from what I'm used to than than it is similar. "Going with the flow" doesn't even begin to cover my experience so far. The language barrier is an afterthought in the difficulties of adapting to life here. 

But I digress. The romanticized ideal of solo travel is renunciation. I've read the writings of and heard about world travelled and I've seldom seen mention of family and friends. I'm wrestling with this idea and realize that this is not the way that I travel or the way that I am. I'm unconvinced that close connection to a social home and complete immersion are mutually exclusive. My identity is inseparable from my family & friends. I plan to be a receptive vessel for this new culture & experice but a distinctly unique one (an Alec-vessel). 

There is a balance point between leaving yourself for the new culture and taking important things with you. 

So Jenna, let me help you pick classes & talk through your complicated internship. Lindsay, talk to me about school and the joys of the job search. Roberto, tell me how many holes you had to dig today and Max, I want to hear how much you love your work. And mom & dad, I guess I can let you know I'm alive every once in a while. For the few minutes once a week there  is both power and Internet, and it's daytime (in both time zones), I'd be happy to be drawn home. No matter how fully I embrace this new world, you are part of who I am, and I can't help but bring you with me.